Lots more emotions were running through me later today, and I’m probably near  the bottom of my energy level in my chemo cycle, so I’m afraid there’s not much in me to give you tonight.  This may be true for a few more days, so we’ll all just have to tough it out for a bit.  Still doing well on my medical charts, and I like that a lot.  Hope you all get to spend some good time with your loved ones over the holiday weekend.  I’m going to have a few visitors and will listen for the fireworks from our back deck.

Happy Fourth to everyone  -  God Bless America, and of course all of you!!              Take care, Tina

 My morning was filled with discussions and questions of all kind of legal and financial matters.   It is so humbling to me that these two women seemed to almost suspend their other business to come out here and help me make and re-make some plans, and with hardly any notification.  I have some “homework” to do over the next couple of days, mostly phoning and dredging up records (both of which are right up my alley, if I may brag a bit…).  But the women have a lot more to do, and they have already set either next Mon. or Wed. to have their parts done - all in time so that I can go back to D-H for my next round of chemo knowing that these huge, weighty matters have mostly all been taken care of, and I would have one less thing to worry about…..  how kind is that!

Around 1:00 my acupuncturist came and gave me a treatment for my leg and also my whole Immune system. She then gave me some Chinese Power Mushrooms to take daily, and also went over some ways I can try to help myself even more with a few changes in my diet.  She will be returning also on Monday, and I can’t wait already.  During the time the needles were in and she was allowing time for them to do their stuff, she sat out on the back deck talking with my husband (meanwhile, she always covers me in a sort of “space blanket” to keep me warm, and I am in Relaxation Central almost immediately).  My husband told me later that she’d helped many of her relatives through their cancers, and I’m so glad to be getting my treatments again.

The “tears” part of my title is just that these days I seem to be so much more emotional than ever before.  I’ve not been someone who shies away from crying when that’s the way I feel, but I’ve never had so many “triggers” to start the crying before all this.  I’m sure that the chemo is playing some part in it, but mostly I find myself tearing up and even sobbing whenever I see, hear, feel , or think of a kindness done on my behalf.  You can just imagine how many kindnesses that could be in a day, and then realize all the tissue I’m using.  If any of your stocks are down now and you want to get one that will soon be on the rise  -  THINK PAPER!!   No joke …..  So many of your comments here make me want to write back with my biggest heartfelt response, but it’s just too much, and I’m hoping you all realize that.  I see my family’s names pop up from all over the country - my older brother’s family out on the west coast, my older sister’s family all over the south, my cousins from the northeast to Minn. - plus my sister Sarah and brother Tico right here.  Then there are all my Camp Arcadia buddies, my Mary Burnham (boarding school) friends, college friends, “old” friends from our road in Conn. where we grew up, and “new” friends I’ve gathered from my 34 years here in Vermont.  Add to that the committed, fantastic readership from Gina’s blog (including her wonderful students from Brazil!!) who have clicked the Pumpkin Portal and joined my site as well, and now you can see why I’m overwhelmed at the very thought of trying to respond to everyone here  (and also why there is so much tissue used).  I guess I’ve covered the topic suffinciently by now, so I’ll stop and get to bed.  I really am exhausted tonight, but that is just part of the deal.   ONE MORE GIANT THANK YOU, though -(just couldn’t help my self … ha ha ha!!)                   Take care,  Tina

As my husband says, today was another “plus” day.   It started by seeing that I’d gained a full pound since yesterday - that makes a total of 2.6 lbs. since I’ve been home!  Never in my life have I been in a position of wanting to gain weight, and it’s actually not an easy thing to do.   But my personal nurse (aka blog administrator) makes sure not too many minutes go by before some more food shows up, and she then watches me like a hawk to make sure I eat it.  But I’m not complaining (yes I am, but not too much, anyway), because her techniques seem to be working.

Next, there was a full day of Wimbeldon on TV, and I got to see some really exciting tennis - especially the Andy Murray match.  My brother and his wife had driven up for the day, so I had the double pleasure of watching tennis with other tennis fans - lots of yelling (mostly by me) and also quite a few “choice” words (me again).  They brought some sandwiches for lunch and some yummy minty fudge (all gone - again, me). They always love to get in our river before heading home, which they did amidst a few squeals and yelps (not me this time), and then they were off.  But they’ll be back up here after their family trip which starts in a few days.  My sister had hoped to time her visit with them, but that didn’t quite work out - she’ll be here soon, though.

Tomorrow  my lawyer and financial planner are coming here to do some business (pretty great that they would do that, eh?!?!),  and then my acupuncturist is coming here to work her needle magic on my two year old leg ache (nothing to do with cancer) - so I’ll have another busy day ahead of me.  Just wanted to keep you all in the loop and let you know I’m still doing great.  Washed my hair last night and nothing came out, but the jury’s still out on what will happen there.  In the meantime, much thanks and love, Tina

Hi, my wonderful teammates!   I hope you enjoyed our previous post with the JibJab thing at the end.  [Note: if you don’t know what I’m refering to here, then most likely you missed it.  If so, then please go back to the previous post, look at the end of it and click on the red-lettered link - it’s so much fun - plus, it stars ….. ME!)  Gina totally figured out how to do the entire thing and then get it onto my blog.  I did want you to know that she also chose the title, “I Rock. Who Knew?”  I like it, but also worry that it makes me seem like a braggy person, which I’m really not.  Ok, I’ve said my piece on that and will move on….

Right now I’m in heaven, sitting one room away from my wonderful Gina, as well as one deck away from my wonderful husband.  (The wonderful Dennis is at least two states away by now, because his most recent film job starts up tomorrow down in NYC - both yippee for him and boo hoo for us - but he’ll be back - SMILEY FACES galore!!!)   The familiar cackles of laughter emanating from my daughter’s mouth as she watches her favorite show, The Office, are really quite something to behold.  They could never be contained, and are so infectious - what a joy they bring to my heart!!   She really is the best medecine in so many ways….

Life in just these few short days has begun to fall into a rather easy pattern here:   after a very good night’s sleep, I’m usually the first one up.   I play with my cat,  Jelly (who is absolutley mad about plastic bags, of all things), get some coffee, do some of my medical recording, and then usually Gina is up to get me a good breakfast - which I’ve been eating with relish (not the food kind….).  Then I’m on the computer for an hour or so, then do a few (very light, don’t worry) house chores, and it’s time for a real nice lunch.   Never before in my “previous life” have I eaten so much at lunch!  But I’m hungry, it’s good, and it’s paying off with a bit of a weight gain each day!   Now that Wimbledon’s on, it’s great just lying around watching - yesterday I had two friends visit, and I just lay there talking, listening, and being thoroughly entertained - it was great - accomplishing a few of my daily goals simultaneously -  ha ha ha!!

Last night the kids rented “The Perfect Storm” for all of us to watch.  Frank had lent Dennis some of Linda Greenlaw’s books, so he wanted to complete the circle with that film.  I could watch most of it, except at the end when they couldn’t breathe - waaaaaaay too close to home for me right now….  Afterward,  I took a fabulous shower (Tex and Di lent us their super dooper shower chair he’d used after his knee surgery), and after a few more medical notations (and a Lorazepam for good measure), I was off to Dreamland.  Not too shabby a routine, eh?

So that’s it for now, my friends.  I know you’re all so happy that I’m feeling great now, but also I’m going to ask you to keep praying as hard as ever -  because now that I’m good and stable from D-H’s lifesaving efforts on me last week, we’re praying that the chemo will start to do its job of killing my tumors.  I’m so very grateful for all you’ve helped me with so far, but there is still a giant job yet to do…  and this is only the beginning of that part…   Just know that things here in Vermont right now are about as good as they can get, and I thank you all so much for your love and support.   Take care, Tina

 

 

 Well, my darling Gina (aka blog administrator) was really right on last night when she said I should be starting to write for myself again.  I’ve been feeling almost too good to be true ever since I’ve been home.  In every aspect of my recovery, on every line of my homemade medical chart, there is positive news.  I so wish that my wonderful nurses and doctors could be here to witness this amazing transformation.  Hopefully by the time I return to D-H on July 10th for my second round of chemo (outpatient, this time), I will feel even better - though I have no idea how I could possibly feel any better than I do at this very moment……

I need to remind myself that this relief is not from the effects of  chemo working on my cancers (there are two now - melanoma and lung) - it’s too early to be able to see any progress on tumor shrinkage.  What I’m feeling is my own body recuperating from all the procedures they did on me which actually saved my life.   The mental change from the first Wed. night in the hospital that I didn’t want to live if this was how I was going to feel,  to beginning to be able to breathe again, and then feeling good enough to want to do anything so I could live even a little longer (but truthfully, a WHOLE HELLUVA LOT LONGER!!!!!!! ) - and then all these wonderful physical signs that my body is holding its own and beginning to get stronger…..  it’s gotta give a girl hope that there’s good stuff going on inside, right?!?!?!  (smiley face, smiley face!!!!)

Anyway, my wonderful Gina has been Trooper of the Year around here in every aspect:  lovely daughter and confidante, nurse and caregiver, watchdog and fact-checker, housecleaner, grocery shopper, not to mention blog administrator extraordinaire.   In her true best fashion, she worked ever-so-hard to come up with a very special treat for all you readers tonight, which will hopefully bring you a lot of smiles in thanks for all of your love and support for me and my whole family (which now includes YOU, by the way!).  I must give credit to my friend Amber, who sent me something similar, which then got me hoping Gina could figure out how to do one for me and put it on here for your enjoyment.

So, with no further ado,  please click on the red-lettered link below:

click here to see how much I rock  

 

 

Well, folks. I’m beginning to think this whole cancer thing was just a ploy to get me to come back to the US for good. My mother is in such good shape these days it’s hard to believe the woman has an illness at all, other than her regular obsessive compulsive cleaning, which is serious enough on its own to warrant hospitalization and some intensive therapy. You just wouldn’t believe the stuff my mom has been up to today, and those of you who know her will appreciate even more her ability to do the following things:

• sweep the garage
• welcome visitors
• pay bills
• boss me around
• make soup (okay just warming it up in the microwave, not from scratch.)
• trimming flowers around the yard (her first venture out into the great outdoors)
• make phone calls about financial things
• troubleshoot miscommunication over a FedEx package receipt
• making lists and charts detailing her medication intake, her temperature, and the quality and frequency of her “evacuations.” No joke.
• drink a custom-made smoothie and a half (icecream, raspberries, and blueberries)
• looking online at armchairs for my new apartment with my boyfriend.

That sweeping thing is the best. You know she’s feeling more like herself when she can be nitpicky enough to sweep a garage and I know she’s feeling more like herself when I can get snippy with her about how she’s doing too much and would she just calm down and relax a little. I think I may have even said “Chill, Mother,” today and really meant it.  (Even now as I’m writing this, I’m overhearing her bicker with her husband about doing whatever she wants. “What’s the problem?” she asks. “Jeez, Frank, what’s the big deal?” Clearly she’s back to her old self, and, as I joked earlier, old is the operative word. After that she told me to shut up. Proof positive things are looking up.)

On the medical front, she was in contact with the nurses at D-H today and it appears she’ll be going in for another round of this chemo thing on July 10th. Lady Di and I will drive down with her for the day, the docs will fill her up with high-test, and we’ll jet back to Jericho for more rest and recuperation. I wish you all could see her like this because…well, there’s nothing quite like my mom when she’s feeling her best, and while this is probably not the BEST she’s felt, it’s certainly a night and day difference from how she was a week ago. Hard to believe that just a week ago she was hovering closer to the light than we’d all like to admit. What a world of difference this week has made, and I know it’s due to the great care she’s received from D-H and from all the love and concern from all of you—-people she knows and people she’s getting to know around the world.

Well, I’m sure she’s going to call me again in just a second to help her with her bandages before getting into the shower, so I should sign off. I know she’s really appreciative of all the phone calls and emails and comments on this blog. Hopefully she’ll be up for visitors because it sure seems to keep her feeling good. Thanks again for all of your words and thoughts. I told her you all would want to hear from HER directly and not from me, so maybe the next post will be riddled with italics and bolds and exclamation marks (!!!!!) a la Mom.

 

Oh, in other medical news: Frank went in for a heart procedure today, a cardiac catheterization, during which he might have to have a stent put in one of his veins. However, upon beginning the procedure, the doctors saw that he had grown his own bypass and therefore could avoid having any surgery done. Not only is this way cool, medically speaking, it’s also way cool because this is the second time his heart has been able to do this kind of thing. Looks like our little home here is the home of medical miracles. And if that’s the case, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a C-cup.

 

(Also, Melinda, my mother’s having real conflict over the question about her favorite icecream. She’s wavering between black raspberry and Ben & Jerry’s “Cherry Garcia.” Although she’s also mentioned Heath Bar Crunch, and New York Super Fudge Chunk. I’m not sure if that helps at all. Maybe she’ll have a different favorite flavor tomorrow.)

Well.

Today? A very good day.

Mom was awake WELL before I was. She was answering phones, making the bed, and drinking coffee. She did all these things before I came downstairs at 8:30. And from there it just got better. Lots of good food—-smoothies made from raspberries, icecream, and milk; snacks of cheese and bananas; soup for lunch; a full dinner of tortellini and cheese bread and more milk, and now she’s down for a “nap.” This nap consists of playing with her cat Jelly and reading The Secret Garden, a book I originally bought for Frank.

The coughing continues, though is probably not related to or interfering with her breathing. She had a visitor today, one of our neighbors, and has been gabbing on the phone with tech help people regarding the Internet. I don’t know another woman on the planet who can be a patient of an illness of this magnitude and still be this active and like her old self. Her face is glowing, she’s building strength, and things are looking good.

She wants me to say some very special Thank Yous to some very special people. But before I say that, I want to make sure that you ALL know that these thank yous apply to ALL of you. She wants so much to thank “Duke’s Mom” and “Alla” and the Camp Arcadia crew who sang to her. But, even as she told me the specific people she wanted to thank, her eyes welled with tears and she crumbled. She said she felt so bad only naming a few people, that she wants to write about each and every one of you for giving her support and lifting her up through all of your writing and good thoughts. So please know, from the bottom of her heart and from the bottom of our family’s heart, Thank You for all you have done so far. Her gratitude is as boundless as the hope and warmth you have sent our way.

Today was such a good day, everyone. I know your thoughts are working their magic.

In lieu of a rambling narrative post like I normally submit to this blog, I thought it would be interesting to interview the patient herself so you can hear directly from her about issues both large and small. What follows is a transcript of the interview I conducted with my mother as we were seated in her bedroom this evening as she was accompanied by her close friend Lady Di.

Gina Coggio: So, Mother, I see you are back at home. Many of your readers are curious to know how you’re feeling right now after your week long hospital stay vacation in Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center the White Mountains. On a scale of 1-10, where 10 is “sexy, young, and voluptuous,” how are you feeling?

The Pumpkin Queen: That’s too hard to say. That’d be embarrassing if I told you.

GC: You mean to say I’d be the embarrassed one. On that same scale, I’m about a 3. So I figure you’d out-rank me today. As usual.

TPQ: Yeah. Totally.

GC: Overall, how was your experience at the hospital? I mean, with the staff and all.

TPQ: Oh, fabulous. 100% the best.

GC: How was the drive home?

Lady Di: Well, I was the driver. And it was like Driving Miss Daisy.

TPQ: Yes, I had a beautiful chauffeur.

Lady Di: Actually, it was more like Driving Miss Hazy.

TPQ: Haha, yes. I had a wild driver, but it was comfortable when I got to lie down.

GC: And your favorite food at the hospital?

TPQ: Ginger ale. Ask anyone and they’d all tell you the same thing. I was ginger ale freak. They actually ran out and had to get more.

GC: I see. And another question: Who is your favorite daughter?

TPQ: [grinning wildly, knowing the back story of how she once INVENTED a completely make-believe "perfect" daughter named Sally who ALWAYS ate her vegetables and ALWAYS cleaned her room and NEVER talked back to her mom, unlike picky, messy, rude baby Gina.] Ohhh….!

GC: Don’t. You. Dare.

TPQ: Mum’s the word!! ha ha ha!

GC: [unamused] Moving on. What’s your favorite thing about being at home?

TPQ: You.

GC: Nice save. One thing you’re looking forward to doing tomorrow?

TPQ: Probably taking a walk around the yard.

GC: That’s a nice plan. If you could have any visitor in the world, past, present, or future, who would it be? And don’t say “grandchildren.”

TPQ: Oh God. I’m trying to think….

Lady Di: Tom Hanks?

GC: I’m not sure she can remember anyone else’s name.

TPQ: You’ll have to come back to me on this one.

GC: And a final question, because I see you’re a little tired, but it’s an important one. There’s been a lot of talk on national and international news about this one and I’m sure your readers are eager to know where the Pumpkin Queen stands: Obama or McCain?

TPQ: Oh, gimme a break! Obama!!